I was at the grocery store and I met this little old lady over by the cheese display. They had a sample plate out with crackers and a cheese spread (a small tub of cheese spread with some flavor in it). The cheese spread had been marked $30.0 and she was convinced she was eating thirty dollar cheese. Nothing I said would convince her that it was probably $3.00 and just got mis-marked.
She just took another cracker and smiled and said, "I just ate two dollars worth of cheese!" Later I saw her in the freezer aisle, chasing down another little old lady to tell her about the dove bars that were on sale. She was too cute.
***
One day last week a teen girl rang my doorbell. I seriously need to put up a sign that says, "If I don't know you, don't ring my doorbell." Usually, I just smile and talk through the window to the side of the front door but that day I was stupid and opened the door. She was with one of those junior achievement type groups that sends out groups of teens into an unsuspecting neighborhood to harrass the residents for no apparent reason. After we got past the "I'm with ___ and I'm just here to improve my communication skills" speech our conversation went something like this:
Her: So, like, I'm wondering what awesome skills you think I need for life? What awesome job do you have?
Me: I'm a stay at home mom.
Her: Awesome. You're a domestic engineer. Give me a high five on that. (raises her hand)
Me: I'm sorry. I just don't have time for this today. (I don't high five -- it's not really something I do.)
Her: (walking away muttering) You don't have to be rude about it.
Good night! Who trains these poor kids?
***
Wednesday at choir practice I was talking to a fellow soprano and I mentioned something about Jeff being 16.
Her: *gasp* You have a 16 year old?
Me: Yep. He's my only one.
Her: Do you mind me asking how old you are?
Me: I don't mind. I'm 41.
Her: *GASP* YOU'RE 41?!! I thought you were younger than me but you're OLDER!
Me: I guess so. Ha ha.
~Sharon
(trying to feel flattered but just feeling OLD)
1 comment:
You make me LOL! Do you ever feel like you have days (or weeks) where you attract such crazy people? I know I have days where I wonder why everyone around me is so off balance. I'm serious about the short stories idea for you. You've got a gift.
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